iThink...thereFore, iAm

Again i think about the people who drifted out of my life.

Not the ones that did something against me, or i against them, which was effectively a step away from each other. Those i can understand, sad as some of them might be. More of the ones that we cared about each other platonically and then as life wore into our souls and got us busier, we drifted apart.

People whom we used to talk about everything together, we shared our problems and joys, we kept each other going and we hung out - we were there for each other. People whom i have had nothing but happy memories about (and it’s strange that they would suddenly hit me, as if a floodgate was opened in my brain. If only this could happen with the intellectual portion!) and i can even remember the last time we spoke, where it was and what it was about. Often times (as decorum dictates) it ended with us promising to catch up soon, once we could.

After a while it just died off and slowly we floated apart like two sailboats in a strange current. These are people whom we would think we’d grow old and our respective kids would play with each other, and we would be at each other’s weddings and share each other’s houses for fun and laughter. Right now I’m not able to picture any of these happening with those people, simply because we’ve grown so far apart.

Did we change? Who did? Who left? Was anyone left waiting or did we just find our own routes in life? Did we unknowingly (but realistically speaking) piss each other off one day and then we decided not to talk to each other for a while, but forgot to get back in touch? Were we really who we portrayed ourselves to be, or did the facade just grow tiring enough to stop and leave the company because we couldn’t be bothered anymore?

Sometimes i’m tempted to get back in touch with people, but then i wonder if they drifted out for a reason. Or if they even consider themselves drifted out. Or if they remember me - and i wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t. I’d like to know what happened though, because it can’t have just been a sudden loss of friendship without an event sparking it.

I guess that’s why they call it drifting apart.