iThink...thereFore, iAm

(In Down In The Dirt, I attempt to address very real aspects of living a Christian life, well aware that not all can always be “fine and dandy”, and there will be small issues and inklings that bug us. These are observed in my own life as well as the lives of others, and though a solution may not always be present and expounded on, I do believe that sometimes these “real” issues are symptoms of deeper issues and part of life on earth is dealing with them - so let’s be real and get down there, in the dirt!)

I’ve always had a struggle to forgive another person for things done. C’mon let’s admit it: we’ve all struggled to forgive someone at one point of time or another. Maybe some of you have reached the stage where all things done on earth are temporal to you and can truly believe that God will handle everything and I salute and applaud you for your faith. Maybe some of you are on the path there, and have learned to hold things lightly, to the extent that even great costs to you are easily let go because you know that Our Great God has it all under control and it’s all part of His Plan. I even personally know some of you people whom I’m describing - but unfortunately I’m not there yet, and I dare say a lot of us who look like we’re there haven’t really got it either. This feels like a big topic so I’m going to have to break it into parts: the first part being…

The Need to Forgive

To be honest this is something that intrigued me both ways: firstly, why is there a need to forgive another person in the first place, and secondly why is it such a struggle (or was, depending on which stage you are at right now)? I’m going to cover it in this order because I think when we fully realize why we need to forgive and what it does to us, for us, then the struggle is partly lessened (though i will still mention briefly on certain potential causes why the struggle will exist).

Is forgiveness a command? Many of us, when thinking of forgiveness, think of the “seventy times seven” put forth by Jesus - in which I believe He’s actually implying that you shouldn’t even keep count! I’ve also been bothered by the part on the Lord’s Prayer that says “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us” - does that mean we only get forgiven for our sins when we forgive another? Better still, “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Wait..put down your sacrifice when your brother is the one with something against you? It’s not you harboring unforgiveness there even, is it? These are question I quite frankly don’t really know much to interpret, and they may even be out of context (the first is on forgiveness, but the second from the Lord’s prayer tends to be focused on attitude in our prayers, and the last in the context of anger incited on another person).

Bear with me as I try to breach this little bit here, a detour to the original point: perhaps forgiveness is more for ourselves than for the other person. Think about it - what does the other person really benefit from you forgiving them? Peace of mind, perhaps? What if they don’t even bother if they’re wronged you? If they don’t care if you’re wronged anyway? If they don’t even care about you - do you think it matters to them if they are forgiven? But forgiveness, on our part, assuming we are the one who needs to do the forgiving, helps us to release the anger and rage that otherwise will build up over time, letting grudges form. The idea that forgiveness does just as much (perhaps more, from my experience!) for the human forgiver as the forgiven which is actually in line with pretty much all of God’s commands to keep us in tune with Him! I’ve noticed that the times that I’ve had to truly dig up the will to forgive (and that was a hard thing to do in light of what has been done) creates a peace in place of the potential grudge held against another. It makes it easier for me to talk with God, to feel His presence, without and overshadowing of latent negative emotions hanging over me, whether I realize it or not. It helps us to gain faith, trust in God, because forgiveness is its own form of sacrifice - the willingness to put our rights down and show love.

Now don’t get all big-headed when you finally manage to forgive someone from the depths of your heart! There is a danger (and I won’t sugar-coat it) that we become proud in forgiving another, thinking we are “holier than thou” because we are able to do so. Forgiveness is not pride-inducing, and that’s a major red flag we all should look out for. If “forgiveness” induces pride, then we have to realign ourselves in humility because we have started to consider ourselves more noble, more holy than the other person, thinking that because we are “better” therefore we are able to “forgive”. Or vice versa. Forgiveness should elicit neither a proud nor nonchalant stance toward the situation - I believe forgiveness produces a propensity to love the person! (Provided any hurt has been grieved over and eventually overcome - hey if there was no hurt then there would have been no need to forgive, yea?)

So back to the question: is forgiveness a command? I honestly can’t think of any place where I’ve read God say “THOU SHALT FORGIVE”, and I’m frankly not too sure about whether it can be taken as a command. But if I follow my own experience, I can tell you this - the heart of God most certainly does forgive each and every sin. That’s why Jesus died on the cross, long before many of us were born. All sins, past, present and future, have been paid for, atoned for, and no longer hold any weight in the Heavenly Court Of Law. If God’s heart is as illustrated as the behavior of the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, without hesitation, to forgive our sins, then do we really need a command to ask us to forgive others?

Why not just follow the heart of God?