iThink...thereFore, iAm

I was having coffee with a friend recently and she told me about a conversation she had recently with a person she really cared about. This close friend said to her:

“How can you be my friend and not support my cause?”

This is a powerful thought. Could this be a valid question? On the contrary, maybe this is more of an unreal expectation. It is important that everyone has the right expectations when approaching this conversation.

To the cause leader sharing your vision:
In any dream that you pursue, know right away that everyone will not be in support of your grand ideas. Even your closest friends may not understand what you are doing or why you are doing it. It is important to share your dream with your closest friends, because they genuinely want to know where you are headed in life. That doesn’t mean that they will support it. Remember: They have no responsibility for your dream to be successful. Many friends will want to support you in a plethora of ways. They may give you advice, connect you to others, volunteer time, pray for your initiative, and some could even financially support your work. But, they don’t have to do any of these things. Let me be clear…every person that you ever share your vision with will not support everything that you do. Know ahead of time this reality and be ok with it. Your friendships should not depend on financial support. Friendship is a gift in itself and be thankful for that. If you try to guilt your friends into supporting your work, that is inauthentic in every way and will not truly help your vision overall. We all know that money will not define what a good friend is, so don’t push that on others. Many friends will only support you just because you are a friend, but please do not count on that in every relationship. Set your expectations straight on the front end.

To The Friend listening to your vision:
Every visionary is extremely excited about launching their next venture and expecting you to be 100% behind them. You know already that visionary’s have too many ideas and not enough time. Please be kind. We know that you are inundated with requests all the time for support. Encourage us anyway. Listen to what the passion is within the dreamer. Give confidence. Be real in your thoughts and please don’t discourage even if you are not passionate about their cause. You do not have any responsibility to fund every friends ventures. But you do have a responsibility as a friend to care for the deepest needs of the individual. I love the quote I heard from a friend named Bob Goff, he said ‘true friends are not going to let you go hungry because you are following your dreams. If it gets to that, we will care for your essential needs.’ More than eating, realistically as a dreamer, we have great highs and great lows. We need friends at both moments to speak into our lives. Be there for us regardless of the situation. If you want to support financially, it helps, but it should never be expected.

Three things to remember when thinking about this dilemma for both the dreamer and the friend:
1) Great friends care for you regardless of what project you are working on.
2) True friends will always give you their honest feedback, sometimes it will hurt and other times it will help.
3) Vision will not always resonate with the heart of everyone and that is ok. It’s the visionary’s passion not every friends passion.