iThink...thereFore, iAm

A year ago I tweeted about wanting green eyes (thanks to memolane for history) - up till now I still do.

Is it really that difficult for people to just be consistent? It’s wearing me down and I’m worn out enough. Just be consistent.

Is that too much to ask?

If you expect people to make concessions for you and to allow you to do things, by the same logic you should also grant the same upon others. Do not expect yourself to be the only exception.

If you are worried about something, then don’t make someone else work it for you - you have to do something about it yourself. If you are worried about work then seek help for it if you must. If you are worried about money then you will have to curb cravings for luxuries such as meals and holidays and branded goods, as much as you wish to justify they don’t count much in the long run - in reality the converse is true: every little bit WILL count in the long run.

…is that you treat others the way you want others to treat you - and when others treat you the way you happen to treat them, don’t complain or whine or feel hurt; you had it coming.

And secondly, that you practice what you preach. If you chide someone for doing something, or saying something in a certain way, then be sure not to do it yourself. Most of the time, there’s no such thing as “other people cannot do this, but everyone (or you) has (have) to make an exception for me”. Chances are, even if the exception is made due to imbalance of power, you lose respect and you annoy the person anyway.

I think these are universal human laws, basic things of courtesy and of the heart. I will concede that we are all human and we all make mistakes. But it becomes hard to overlook, forgive and condone the breaking of these rules when it seems to become the norm.

If you understand that doing things annoys people (as much as it is fun to you) and people’s patience is limited and will run out (with consequences to you) one day, why do you continuously insist on doing it for your entertainment.

As much as i can see how pissing someone else off might be entertaining, i still think it’s annoying, and i think you do too. There’s a lot more that goes on under the annoyance - condescension, humiliation, stereotyping, and all sorts of other demeaning feelings run deep.

So stop thinking that your perspective is always right. Just because you want it your way and your friends happen to want it the same way doesn’t mean that it is the right way or the only way. Part of life is sadly about respecting other people as much as you may not like it or want to.

Recognize then, that one day that straw is going to to break the camel’s back, because everyone runs out of patience one day.

It has been another tough week, once again, and this time a little annoying as some of the labmates have been hounding me with questions endlessly. While I am tempted to go down the mindroute of “srsly can’t you find this out yourself? Why do you have to ask every small thing?”, I do remember there was a time where I was very appreciative of people who cleared my doubts quickly and helped me understand everything in record time. I also remember a time when my feelings and emotions depended largely on whether my research progressed the way i wanted it to. Perhaps at that time I expressed the same frustration on the people around me, the same way I seem to experience a lot of frustration from the people around me now.

It’s one thing to have an idea of what the outcome of an experiment will be based on present existing theories, particularly if all you are doing is repeating the same steps, but it’s an entirely different thing to insist that you only want one outcome in your experiments. Of course everyone will have a particular goal in mind to achieve - else there would be no targeted point in research other than random delving and dabbling around - but the more important aspect of that is to piece known pieces of information together to try and obtain what you hope to, if not at least a stepping stone to the next level. Sometimes finding out a reason why something doesn’t work can be as much as achievement as making it work - and a failure isn’t necessarily final. It is important to see beyond the present, and see how the present will shape the future.

Research will have failures, and from my experience it is easy to get upset with oneself and other people because of these failures. But if we never fail we never learn - let the failures point you to what works. It is difficult when you’re in the moment to strike a balance between that and taking things appropriately seriously (either extreme will annoy other people) but it is important nonetheless.

It is very easy to frustrate others, and for others to frustrate you, when you base how good your life is against things that are so easily shaken. It is also easy to lose it when you are the one always giving the support (whether in work or in personal life) and receive little of the kind that you need. I confess to inwardly yelling or breathing a sigh of exasperation to things more than once or twice, to getting angry at why I was withheld from favour or preference and only treated as a good or service to be utilized - to be cast aside or ignored when there are no requests pending. This happens, unfortunately, not just at work.

In a position such as my own, tenacity is invaluable. One has to keep going on and on without promise of certainty, without assured success or comfort. There was a thought that struck me the other day that even soldiers have a base to return to yet my own fight seems endless without respite - i move from one battle to another, sometimes in another field, sometimes not even my own battle but still i fight caught in the middle of it.

Sometimes i think about the future - and i worry over a great deal of things. But I will have to approach it when i get there.

One verse that is often quoted out of context is: “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.” That kind of testing is the test of provocation, not the test of hypothesis; it is the kind of testing we imply when we say, “Do not test my patience.” The God of the Bible doesn’t otherwise seem to mind having his power being tested for a specific reason.

- The Finder

What is it about Singaporeans that you only get work done when an email request is copied to a supervisor of yours? Where is your integrity, pride for your own work and sense of responsibility?

If you don’t at least be responsible with your work, better still take pride in it, how do you ever hope to rise?